One of the most durable and endearing images of my father was his figure bent over our den desk, writing weekly letters to his three sisters. Tinidad natives, they moved to the United States as young adults, losing closeness on a small island to gradual separation on a larger land. Distance, however, was only in … Read more
One of the most durable and endearing images of my father was his figure bent over our den desk, writing weekly letters to his three sisters. Trinidad natives, they moved to the United States as young adults, losing closeness on a small island to gradual separation in a larger land. Distance, however, was only in … Read more
It’s safe to say my daughter attended more Masses in three weeks abroad with me this summer than she had before we left. For reasons coincidental or supernatural, her tourist’s timing twice delivered us to special circumstances: Once we heard Mass celebrated by a Cardinal in his cathedral, and at another time, by a priest … Read more
An astonishing thing happened in April. I found myself in a room with five hundred people who agreed with me. Obviously, this was not an assembly of Catholics. Quarreling Catholics are the lacerating reality of my adult years. This was a secular mix. But in conversation, as well as from conference speakers, about challenges facing … Read more
In the month when cinematic achievement is honored with Oscars, I am reminded of the comedic brilliance of Jacques Tati. His memorable Mon Oncle is particularly relevant today, as much for its trenchant social commentary as for the hilarious misadventures of its star. Tati, as the unsophisticated Mr. Hulot, is confronted by dazzling technology which … Read more
Here we are again. Christmas. No word triggers more images, more memories. Christmas present inevitably evokes Christmases past. From childhood to old age comes this birth date, this December 25th, this portentous spiritual intrusion into secular preoccupations. That we are already heading into the red and green tsunami of Christmas — I write in October … Read more
By now, everyone knows that the worst misfortune in America is to have been born just ahead of the tidal wave ultimately known as the Boomers. We, the immediate predecessors of that enlightened group, are dubbed the Silent Generation, participants in the unexamined life. We innocently consumed lethal popcorn and thought a biceps curl had … Read more
It was unfair, but I couldn’t resist. The exasperated parent with an insolent teen remarked with undisguised envy, “It must be wonderful having grown children away from home.” To which I replied, “No, it’s awful.” Her reaction reminded me of facial expressions some winters ago when a friend, hobbling on crutches, finally told the truth. … Read more
January brings with it a sense of stepping out of confession. A clean slate, a chance to improve. Those disposed to make lists have done so, charting corrective measures to start New Year’s Day. By the end of the month, however, most resolves dissolve. The remedy suggested is to tackle a single issue. An inventory … Read more
For the first time in five years, Thursday at 7:30 holds no promise. It was exhilarating to wake on Thursday and know that in the evening some of us in the parish would put aside disparate concerns and come together to focus on the one thing which united us all, love of God and His … Read more
Did you ever find yourself, during a familiar activity, interrupted by the disturbing thought, why am I doing this? One night, praying the same words in the same order I constructed years ago (occasionally veering for spontaneity, I take comfort in the familiar, what C.S. Lewis called “ready-made” prayers), I caught myself wondering about a … Read more
I am no longer startled when handed a program as I enter a church wedding. The first time it happened I thought the usher gave me the church bulletin and I wondered why. Now I am accustomed to this ceremonial accessory. A veteran of weddings where earnest brides and grooms pen flowery vows, I detect … Read more
The question strikes every believer, becoming more insistent with age. Advancing towards eternity, we take inventory and ask the ultimate: what, if anything, is pleasing about me in the sight of God? Contemporary obsession with self-esteem sinks into oblivion. It matters little what I think of myself. What matters is what God thinks of me, … Read more
Domestic goddess—it’s Roseanne Arnold’s term and it’s what I’m supposed to be. That is, I opt out of the marketplace in favor of staying home. This suggests reveling in housewifery, defined when I was in school in terms of the twin pillars of cooking and sewing. I am supposed to find satisfaction slipcovering wing chairs … Read more
It became apparent to my mother early on that in terms of height I was headed in my father’s lofty direction. My vertical climb was slow and steady. I never experienced the horror of being the gawk at the end of the line — but I was close. Observing the tendency of tall girls to … Read more
My eldest daughter, at 28, has resolved not to love again. That is, she quits the arena of l’amour, tou jours l’amour after two experiences which left her scarred and cynical. Romantically, she is 0 for 2. With predictable parental response, I rushed to assure her she was bound to fall in love again but … Read more
I should have known better. An extraordinary experience is rarely repeated. The film industry never learns; with certain exceptions II and III don’t begin to approach the quality of the initial hit. We collectively wince reading about the projected Gone With the Wind II. It is better not to attempt an encore. That applies not … Read more
I guess you could say the devil made me do it. There I was, assembling thoughts for this column, when I took a break for the news at noon. After network coverage, our ABC anchor here promised a preview of a segment slated for “20/20” that evening. The locals weren’t alone in promoting the sensational … Read more
I knew it was over when I heard the finality in his voice. To the telephone caller he replied, “She did.” It wasn’t a question. More words exchanged, and then my husband put down the receiver. “Mom’s gone?” The unnecessary inquiry. “Mom died?” We went to Extended Care, where she was supposed to begin physical … Read more
It should have been the worst Christmas of my life. An only child from New Jersey, who had not been farther west than Pennsylvania, I made a quantum leap when I took a job decades ago in San Francisco. But the lure of the position in television, coupled with determination to ensnare a certain Stanford … Read more