Susie Lloyd

Susie Lloyd is the author of the award-winning humor book Please Don't Drink the Holy Water! (Sophia Institute Press, 2004) and its sequel, Bless Me, Father, For I Have Kids (Sophia, 2013). Find more at

recent articles

The Queens: A Homeschooling Battle

Every fall and spring the two of us play the game — the Pelosi-haired lady at the school district and me. We are like chess pieces — queens — coming at each other across the checkered board. Opposites, yet strangely similar. We are both dressed for the day’s business. She wears a neutral-toned, tailored pantsuit … Read more

Learning to Forgive

The Eastern Catholic and Orthodox tradition of Forgiveness Sunday — otherwise known as Get Out of your Comfort Zone Sunday — is fast approaching. (As my husband is canonically a Ukrainian Catholic, I have the good fortune of discovering another world of “new” old practices.) On the Sunday before Lent, during a Vespers service, you … Read more

The Best Father’s Day Gift

Father’s Day is almost upon us, and this time I really don’t want to blow it. Greg is a wonderful dad to our seven children. There has to be some present that expresses how much I appreciate him. Top gifts this year are the same as every other year: golf bags, fishing gear, and leather … Read more

Dostoyevsky on Steroids

The Grand Inquisitor John Zmirak, illustrated by Carla Millar, Crossroad, $19.95, 76 pages A graphic novel is a comic book on steroids: It’s bigger, fiercer, and capable of heavy lifting. What could be a heavier topic than a conspiracy to destroy Christ’s Church from within? That’s the theme of John Zmirak’s latest, The Grand Inquisitor. … Read more

The Facts of Life

Catholic parents, let me take this moment to commend you. When it comes to education in . . . well, you know, the — ahem — facts of life, you have bravely stood up for parental rights. You have said: “These delicate matters are for parents to attend to! No one must usurp this right! … Read more

Keep Mass in Christmas

Remember Candlemas? The folks at Calvary Temple proclaiming “Keep Christ in Christmas” don’t either. The source of our present secularization isn’t the lack of Christ… it’s the lack of Mass. The highway billboards have come down: Keep Christ in Christmas. Or the more eye-catching: _____mas: It isn’t Christmas without Him. I have to hand it … Read more

Be Still Oh Everyone!

Whoever planted this news item might as well have planted a bomb. Last February, a woman at a local Pennsylvania mall was asked by security guards to cover up while she nursed her baby. In protest, over 150 “lactivists” gathered with their own babies to hold a “nurse-in” at the same mall. On Mother’s Day, … Read more

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