John Zmirak

John Zmirak is the author, most recently, of The Bad Catholic's Guide to the Seven Deadly Sins (Crossroad). He served from October 2011 to February 2012 as editor of Crisis.

recent articles

Cain, Where Is Your Brother?

The year 2011 was born with the mark of Cain. Last week, Salman Taseer, the governor of Pakistan‘s largest state, Punjab, was gunned down by his own bodyguard, as the rest of his handpicked guards looked on. His killer, a Muslim fanatic, was greeted with showers of rose petals thrown by lawyers, and the victim’s … Read more

Frog-Marching Us into Sodom

Friends told me my predictions of January 1 were a teensy tad cynical: “You keep trying to prove you’re the Catholic Mencken. Cut it out — you’re depressing the laity,” was a comment that came back to me. More feedback: “Thanks! I’ll start the new year by slashing my other wrist.” Still more: “Why didn’t … Read more

What If Herod Wins?

To be honest, I forgot about yesterday’s feast. I had celebrated Christmas at the splendid little Gothic Church of the Holy Innocents in Manhattan — and a rousingly festive solemn Latin Mass it was, complete with lovingly sung polyphony. That parish has a shrine to the unborn, complete with a book where bereaved or penitent … Read more

I Don’t Make the Natural Law, I Just Enforce It

To me, there’s nothing that quite says “Christmas” like schadenfreude — that grim satisfaction one takes in watching the suffering of others, especially other people whose ideas are evil. The Church father Tertullian used to write in lengthy detail of how the Romans who tortured Christians would undergo the same tortures themselves in hell, while … Read more

Do You Renounce Kennedy and All His Works?

Two weeks ago I ventured into enemy territory: the Harvard Club in Boston. In all the time I’ve lived in New England, I’ve turned down every chance to visit Harvard’s prim, Georgian campus, though I’ve window-shopped in swanky Harvard Square. Out of loyalty to its rival, my alma mater, I’ve steered clear of Harvard, displaying … Read more

Stitching in Limbo

Last night our college celebrated the vigil of the Immaculate Conception in the exact same way as every other Catholic school in America — with mulled cider, makeshift medieval costumes, the performance of two Mystery plays depicting the Fall of Man and the Dream of St. Joseph, and chanted vespers. The usual. I’m sure that … Read more

A Time to Gloat

Last week, I declined to chime in on the pope’s new book — though I should probably hurry up, since I still haven’t gotten a copy, which means that my perspective on it is still fresh and unspoiled, marked by the disinterested objectivity that comes with utter ignorance. Instead I tried to use the cacophony … Read more

The Ghetto Is the Future

I’ve been tempted to comment, like everyone else on earth with functioning fingers and Internet access, on the unfolding story of Pope Benedict XVI’s comments regarding condoms. But for once I don’t know exactly what I think. I await further clarification from the Church’s teaching authority — which will come in time — and the … Read more

A Holy Fear of Man

Last week, I pointed readers to the fascinating debate between Robert Spencer and Peter Kreeft on the subject of Islam, promising to offer my own reflections later. If you haven’t yet watched the debate, go bookmark it now, and when you sit down to watch it, prepare to be . . . unsettled. Pour yourself … Read more

Is the Only Good Muslim a Bad Muslim?

Last week I was privileged to moderate a debate between two of the best writers on religion in the English-speaking world, Boston College philosopher Peter Kreeft and Jihadwatch director Robert Spencer. How was I able to land two eminent speakers on the same night? Easy: I was their editor. Both Kreeft and Spencer contributed eloquent … Read more

A Thumb in Leviathan’s Eye

Pundits are still analyzing the outcome of last night’s elections, and it will take months to figure out what Americans’ votes will mean in terms of policy. Myself, I’m actually relieved that Republicans didn’t win both houses of Congress; since the economy (corrupted by bad investments encouraged by cheap money from the Fed) isn’t likely … Read more

My High Holy Day

All the decorations are up, folks are frantically shopping and preparing, and the anticipation is almost killing me as I await the brightest, best moment of the whole liturgical year: Halloween, of course. As far back as I can remember, this feast far outclassed Christmas on my personal calendar. No matter that Santa brought piles … Read more

Trojan Horsemeat

Last week I explored the usefulness of calling people’s bluffs — that is, of swiftly testing whether the proponents of a given policy really mean what they say, by offering to grant them what they claim to want . . . and seeing if they will take it. If they will, then they might really … Read more

Calling Their Bluff

Faith draws on far more resources of head and heart than the formal reasoning that flashes through our frontal cortex can account for. Religious sentiment and habits of piety formed in early life can lay down trails we will endlessly retrace in future decades. Conversely, pieties denied us when we were young will be harder … Read more

The Real Seamless Garment

Last week, an earnest Catholic commentator over at the Catholic Key Blog mourned the fact that House Democrats had spoiled the chances for “immigration reform” by linking the issue to unrelated matters that scared off supporters, tainting the sacred cause of extending amnesty to illegal immigrants by wrapping it up in a rainbow flag, then … Read more

‘Man Is a Featherless Biped’

This week I will take up the cudgels in defense of G. K. Chesterton, after reading Austin Bramwell’s acerbic article that dismissed my beloved bard as philosophically unserious and rhetorically annoying. I’m probably not the man to take up the task, since I’m way too attached. Twenty years ago, I teased Robert Spencer, who wages … Read more

First Thing… Let’s Kill All the Housecats

If you want to write satire nowadays, you should give up on publishing books and even articles. Reality outpaces parody so quickly that you’re better off sticking to Twitter. If you take the time to write your dyspeptic warnings of the future into a polished, final form, chances are that, before they are even copy-edited, … Read more

Of Beauty, and Saying Goodbye

This past weekend was a farrago of extreme experiences — the anniversary of September 11, the build-up to rallies favoring and opposing the Ground Zero Victory Mosque, marches by paranoid 9/11 “truthers” — and a solemn farewell to a dear friend I will never see again. All this at once, in just two days, might … Read more

Say No to the Ground Zero Victory Mosque

This weekend, my home town will be the site of an extraordinary event. Let me beg everyone who is able to make the pilgrimage to Ground Zero on the ninth anniversary of the Islamist mass-murder attack on our country. It is there that thousands of citizens will gather at 3 p.m. at Park Place (between … Read more

The Miracle of History

Last week I introduced the notion of “theological deal-killers,” hypothetical events which, if they happened in the real world, would cause one to question his faith. While a few readers thought it impious that I was willing even to entertain the idea, most chimed in helpfully with their own list of teachings so central, traditions … Read more

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