John Zmirak

John Zmirak is the author, most recently, of The Bad Catholic's Guide to the Seven Deadly Sins (Crossroad). He served from October 2011 to February 2012 as editor of Crisis.

recent articles

My Non-Binding Resolutions for the New Year

I’m not a libertarian, but I play one on the PC. As I’ve written before (blatant plugs for other rants I’ve written on this subject follow here and here), there’s nothing wrong with the State using its power to foster the Common Good, when the dignity of individuals is respected and the Common Good is … Read more

Christmas at the Veterinary Hospital

It was meant to be a slightly glamorous Christmas. Festive in the right sense, of gold vestments and Gregorian chant, rich dinners with friends too long unseen, a little bit of glitz to contrast with humming and drumming of the hard work done all year. I’d planned some slightly hectic travel, interspersed with a couple … Read more

Envy: I See You in Hell

This week I’m wrapping up my sympathetic look at the Seven Deadly Sins, from the viewpoint of fallen man who’s not really eager to climb back up. If zealous Christians can aptly be termed by theologians “Weebles” — “These souls wobble but they don’t fall down!” — the much more numerous people for whom I … Read more

The Few, the Proud, the Damned

One way I teach my students to work with language is by showing them how to play with it — just as a psych professor teaches future therapists and ex-wives how to play with people’s minds. Sometimes I combine the methods proper to both disciplines — for instance, when I keep a straight face explaining … Read more

Our Age’s Reigning Sin: Now on DVD

Periodically I hear or read of a film that’s a “must-see” for Catholics. Depending on who’s recommending it, I’ll find out that the film is essential because it:   Affirms the sanctity of life. (Bella) Celebrates the fundamental goodness of every person, even the simplest. (Forrest Gump) Dramatizes a sacramental vision of life. (Babette’s Feast) … Read more

Thank You, Lord, May We Have Another?

This year we Americans approach Thanksgiving with ruffled feathers and quivering wattles, alert for the edge of the axe. Our country’s 50-year joyride has hit the wall, and we wait for the "jaws of life." The imaginary wealth that puffed up our investments and inflated our national salary has blown like a mist back to … Read more

Greed Is for the Good

  I joked in a previous column that the vice of Avarice was associated with one political party, and Envy with another. Were that entirely true, we could say that the recent election marked a new era in vice — one where Greed is no longer good, but Envy’s exquisite.   These questions are never … Read more

Kneeling Before the World

Last week, I interrupted my series of reflections on the Seven Deadly Sins to accommodate the elections. Let’s hope that my dire predictions turn out to be alarmist, even hysterical.   Much as I’d like to jump right back on the horse, and ride through the happy fields of Greed, or among Envy’s icy crags, … Read more

It Can Happen Here

Our choices matter. They hurtle before us into eternity, dragging us in their wake. And in this election, more than any in the United States since 1860, they matter desperately. I wish they didn’t. The single most damning objection raised by atheists is this: Why would a loving, omnipotent God permit sin, suffering, and the … Read more

God in the Belly

From the tenor of my reflections on the seven deadly sins, the careless reader might think I’m playing devil’s advocate — or, even worse, that I’ve pumped up my ego to the point where I think I can compete with C. S. Lewis. In fact, the only Lewis I’m hoping to emulate is Jerry. (Stay … Read more

Massive, Disproportionate Retaliation

A neglected Catholic poet of the 1970s, Kinky Friedman, wrote movingly of the Resurrection in a tender Easter ballad — frequently used at conservative Novus Ordo parishes as a post-Communion hymn — which concludes with this envoi: Oh, let’s get high on Jesus, high on Jesus, They tried to put His body under ground. Flashing … Read more

Lust for the Suburbs

Of the seven areas of life where Jesus spoils our fun, the subject of sex is one where He actually does least harm. Wistful, liberal Catholics like to point out that Christ spent much more time on earth denouncing the smugly rich than the randy. As usual, these people are missing the point: When it … Read more

The Joy of Sloth

Two weeks ago, I promised to lay out for you, one week at a time, the "seven key areas of life where Jesus ruins our fun." By this I mean the categories of normal human experience that make up the bulk of our lives — where our instincts, habits, and egos have patched together perfectly … Read more

How to ‘Render’ without Surrender

I know that I promised last week to continue my analysis of “Seven Key Aspects of Life Where Jesus Spoils Our Fun.” And I will get back to it — in fact, I’ll do so relentlessly, seven times, until I’ve essentially written the core of my upcoming book on InsideCatholic’s dime. I look forward to … Read more

We Regret to Inform You that Christ Is Risen

Last week I went fist-to-face with one of the “new atheists,” John Derbyshire of National Review. It’s not like I make a habit of badgering those who don’t share the gift of faith. Only God can give that out. At our best, we’re His bicycle messengers. We really can help people cut the twine and … Read more

The Importance of Borders: Fixing the Immigration Crisis in 9 Steps

My piece last week on immigration flowed from my longstanding policy of spreading oil on the waters — then setting them on fire. Dozens of thoughtful responses offered a wide array of views on how to strike a Catholic balance between Church and state, mercy and justice, globalism and patriotism. But the most important question … Read more

Render Unto Caesar: The Church and Immigration

Sometimes the Church’s public face in a given country can make you proud, and sometimes it has to make you a little sick. American Catholics can justly take satisfaction that our bishops were almost alone in beginning the fight against abortion; the Southern Baptist Conference, of all things, at first backed Roe v. Wade, and … Read more

Blood in August: On Avoiding World War III

Students of history will always find the month of August a little ominous. In August 1920, the Red Army invading Poland (led by neoconservative hero Leon Trotsky) nearly captured Warsaw and spilled into central Europe, whence it might well have conquered a prostrate Germany, Austria, and Hungary — just for starters. The heroic Polish defeat … Read more

Bastille Day: Baptism by Blood

Yesterday probably passed without much fanfare in your home, but July 14 is a day I usually try to commemorate. Not because I carry a single drop of French blood (more’s the pity — I’d be proud to be a cousin of Joan of Arc and François Mauriac). No, it’s because I think Bastille Day … Read more

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