President Obama gets tough

A conversation overheard at the White House…

Rahm Emmanuel: Mr. President, you need to toughen up about this oil spill, because you look like a *****. A little, pigtailed, tea-party dress wearing, oversized lollipop licking *****.

President Obama: I see. And what would you suggest?

Orthodox. Faithful. Free.

Sign up to get Crisis articles delivered to your inbox daily

Email subscribe inline (#4)

Rahm Emmanuel: Well, Cupcake, I’d suggest you pretend Michelle married a real man and get out there with some ******* profanity. That lets the dummies know you’re serious.

Vice President Joe Biden (popping head in): Hey there, rock n’ rollers! Anything old Joe can lend a hand with?

Rahm Emmanuel: GET OUT.
President Obama: GET OUT.

Vice President Joe Biden: Excuse-arino! (popping head out)

President Obama: Rahm, I will do as you suggest.

Rahm Emmanuel: ******* right, you will. Try it out with that manfruit Matt Lauer. He loves a good f-bomb.

In an exceprt from an interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer, Obama made clear that the chattering class is getting under his skin with claims he was too slow to react to the spill.

“I was down there a month ago, before most of these talking heads were even paying attention to the gulf. A month ago, I was meeting with fishermen down there standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this would be,” the president said….

“I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they, potentially, have the best answers so I know whose ass to kick,” Obama told NBC.

President Obama: So how’d I do?

Rahm Emmanuel: Like Richard Simmons in a muscle shirt.



  • Brian Saint-Paul

    Brian Saint-Paul was the editor and publisher of Crisis Magazine. He has a BA in Philosophy and an MA in Religious Studies from the Catholic University of America, in Washington. D.C. In addition to various positions in journalism and publishing, he has served as the associate director of a health research institute, a missionary, and a private school teacher. He lives with his wife in a historic Baltimore neighborhood, where he obsesses over Late Antiquity.

Join the Conversation

in our Telegram Chat

Or find us on

Editor's picks

Item added to cart.
0 items - $0.00

Orthodox. Faithful. Free.

Signup to receive new Crisis articles daily

Email subscribe stack
Share to...