Divorce is a sensitive topic. Much of the serious Catholic discussion on the topic addresses receiving Communion or even how American Catholics are 6 percent of global Catholics but 60 percent of annulments. The evidence shows that divorce significantly threatens the faith of both divorced Catholics and their children, underscoring the urgent need for parishes to prioritize marriage ministry and support. This is something we Catholics should talk about, without letting situations involving abuse distract us from the evidence of the problems caused by divorce. We want good marriages, and they help pass on the Faith.
Most Catholics will get married. As the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) at Georgetown explains: “While you may have heard that marriage is endangered and rare, most Catholics will end up being married during their life.” And a good number of those will get divorced. CARA estimates that “about 28% of those Catholics who marry experience divorce at some point.” Pew Research came up with a similar number through its own survey (and also noted that only a quarter of them seek an annulment). Unsurprisingly, divorce can have an impact on the faith of the divorced parties.
The Pew Research Center, which is known for generating headlines about the decline of religion in America, has conducted a number of surveys on this point. Their data shows that married Catholics attend Mass more frequently.
And Catholics who report that they are currently living with a partner outside of marriage or who have been divorced and remarried without having sought an annulment from the Catholic Church are less likely than other Catholics to say they attend Mass on a weekly basis (25%, compared with 41% of all other Catholics).
It also shows a link between being divorced and being an “ex-Catholic.”
A CARA report from 2015 found that those who suffered a divorce were less likely to attend Mass (56 percent of married parents attended at least once a month compared to 44 percent of those who were divorced or separated), less likely to pray with their family, less likely to think childhood sacraments are important, and less likely to consider their faith important. Interestingly, though, divorced parents were more likely to pray in general and to pray for their children. Maybe this is because divorce can be hardest on the children.
The evidence consistently shows that children of divorce are less likely to practice the Faith. The Public Religion Research Institute, another organization that frequently puts religion polls into the field, finds that:
Americans who were raised by divorced parents are more likely than children whose parents were married during most of their formative years to be religiously unaffiliated (35% vs. 23% respectively). Rates of religious attendance are also impacted by divorce. Americans who were raised by divorced parents are less likely than children whose parents were married during most of their childhood to report attending religious services at least once per week (21% vs. 34%, respectively). This childhood divorce gap is also evident even among Americans who continue to be religiously affiliated. Roughly three in ten (31%) religious Americans who were brought up by divorced parents say they attend religious services at least once a week, compared to 43% of religious Americans who were raised by married parents.
This is consistent across other data sources.
Professor Christian Smith, whose landmark National Youth and Religion Survey launched many scholarly articles and books, also recorded that children of divorce are less religious.
Professor Vern Bengtson took a different approach. Rather than a large public survey, he studied groups of families across multiple generations. But he was also “struck by how often marriage, divorce, or remarriage led to a change in religious affiliation.”
Among the families he studied, there was a 10 percent drop in passing on the faith if the parents got divorced—but a 20 percent drop for Catholics. Half of Catholic parents ended up with young adult children who were Catholic if they stayed married; only 30 percent kept the faith if their parents got divorced. This does not seem surprising: in a Faith that prohibits divorce, a parental divorce can undermine credibility and confidence in that Faith.
Among the families he studied, there was a 10 percent drop in passing on the faith if the parents got divorced—but a 20 percent drop for Catholics. Tweet ThisIf divorce has such a significant potential impact on faith, perhaps this should be a priority area for parish programming and finances. Every parish of a certain size has a paid youth minister—how many dedicate any funding to marriage? Communio, an organization dedicated to addressing exactly these issues, reports that a large majority of churches (Protestant and Catholic) have $0 dedicated to marriage ministry; and 72 percent lack a substantive marriage ministry. Groups like Retrouvaille do great work, but it would be ideal to prevent marriages from falling into the struggles that even lead to that program. I like the youth ministries my kids participate in, but it might be a better use of parish resources to buy marriage counseling in a bulk, discounted fashion from faithful counselors.
Those experiencing divorce should not despair but instead double their efforts to pass on the Faith. Professor Bengtson noted that “divorce did not always fracture that continuity. In some families the divorced parent with high religious commitment was successful in transmitting his or her faith.”
The rest of us should provide encouragement to struggling married couples and resist the online commentariat that is quick to encourage divorce over trivial things like a spouse loading the dishwasher wrong. While sometimes we see headlines highlighting the problems of divorce (“US children of divorce have reduced earnings, increased chances of teen births and jail, study says”), the U.S. media (and social media) are often quick to encourage divorce.
Of course, the Bible does have something to say on this topic:
To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
Once again, the available evidence simply reflects and reinforces God’s wisdom.
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