Students Need Struggle

“And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.” Here, we have one of the countless instances of struggle in Holy Scripture. The idea that man could wrestle with God—indeed, that he would even need to—is difficult to comprehend. What a beautiful manifestation of divine providence that, like Jacob, we are forced to wrestle with passages like this. In the end, Jacob prevails, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.” It can be said that to struggle is part of the very fabric of a Catholic life well-lived.

Contrary to this, Modernity tells us that the only righteous struggle is revolution; all other struggle is something to be overcome. Although much of our society has given credence to this notion, we must admit that we don’t live as if this is the case. When a toddler is learning to walk, we do not weep and gnash our teeth as they take a few tenuous, shaky steps; we cheer them on. We also allow them to dress themselves, even when they struggle to find the arm holes. We know that struggle often results in triumph, and our cheers ring from the rafters when that struggle is finally met with success—something only possible because of the struggle itself.

If struggle is truly a natural part of growth as a human being, we should take time to reflect on what struggle should look like in an educational environment. It is a curious facet of our contemporary approach to education that when a student struggles in school, we find it necessary to either shield them from the difficulty, or provide them with “supports” that are the equivalent of brushing your ten-year-old’s teeth for them.

Children cannot grow in fortitude if they are not granted the agency to contend with challenging material and situations. The temptation to mediate each challenge your child faces will only lead to a child who lacks confidence. By the time a child is in high school, parents should be helping them develop the ability to speak with their teachers about content they don’t understand, or expectations that are unclear.

Unfortunately, education as an institution, public and private, has been corrupted by consumerism, the accreditation grift, and vanity. Consumerism has led to the idea that a good education can be bought irrespective of a student’s buy-in, and that the purchaser should get what they want. The accreditation grift has convinced the masses that a certificate is an accurate measure of a well-formed mind.

Worst of all, vanity and social media culture have led to an idea of learning that panders to marketing and conceit. Entire parts of the Education Industrial Complex exist for parents concerned with social media-worthy opportunities to broadcast a student’s accomplishment or round out their child’s CV for college admissions.

Struggle is a natural part of learning, but with the stakes for school success being so corrupted by things that actually don’t matter, parents whose children don’t meet the standard markers of braggadocio are often led to despair over how their child measures up, or to become determined to “fix” a system which seems unjust.

As Our Lord strongly rebukes those who despair, this option should be fought with fervent prayer. The emotional void of despair renders us unable to lovingly help our children contend with the realities of struggle. The crisis of anxiety that plagues our teenagers is, in at least a small part, fueled by an inability to deal with failure or navigate challenges in a healthy manner. When young people are not lovingly supported through hard things, they become afraid of those hard things. They cannot grow in fortitude if they watch us doom-spiral and mount a crusade each time they face something challenging.

It is vital that children have enough experiences in low-stakes interactions to prepare them to function in the community at large. Contrary to popular sentiment, a failing grade is a low-stakes scenario, as is missing out on any number of secular rite-of-passage events. As Catholics, we should realize that the only high-stakes scenarios are the ones that pertain to our salvation. No amount of clever reels, slick marketing campaigns, or secular traditions should persuade us otherwise. When a student is given the opportunity to meet a challenge with a clear understanding of how to struggle virtuously, they will be well-prepared to navigate the world.

It is also vital that adults model what righteous struggle looks like, particularly in the face of a rampant outrage culture. Part of this is teaching children how to pick battles. We are accustomed to seeing viral clips of angry parents at school board meetings dropping “truth bombs” on local officials who don’t seem to understand the task for which they have been appointed. There are essentially two things for which a school board is responsible: approving a curriculum grounded in Truth, Beauty, and Goodness, and employing virtuous people to teach that curriculum. Yet, very few of these episodes are about that. We are fighting the wrong battle at these meetings if we are squabbling about policies and procedures. Engaging in conflict for the sake of conflict, or on the wrong grounds, does not help our young people understand when and how to struggle.

When parents are able to put their children in the care of virtuous educators with a properly constituted curriculum, they should turn their focus to inculcating the virtues necessary for their children to navigate their school day in potential conflict with peers and teachers. Should a failure occur, it is necessary for the child to have a cheering section confidently encouraging them to stand back up and risk another step.

Dale Ahlquist, founder of the Chesterton Schools Network, once said, “A school is not a Utopia; it is an arena for failure with recourse to Christ.” May God, in His loving providence, help us to reclaim our culture, inspire righteous struggle, and mercifully guide us into His loving arms for all eternity.