“That tingling means it’s working!”

I had to run out to the Walmart to buy ketchup, and was arrested by a strange new product on the shelves:
 

It’s called Wrecking Balm– “a unique, devastatingly effective tattoo fade-removal system.”  I don’t even want to know how it works, but a stroll down Main Street, Anytown, USA will show you why your local Walmart is carrying it (hint:  it has to do with Red Bull and vodka, the decline and fall of western civilization, and, for some reason, Tweety Bird).
I do not have a tattoo (for once, my crippling indecisiveness at age 22 saved me, as I was unable to decide between a lion and a tiger, so I didn’t get anything).  Now I wear my plain old, moley, un-inked skin as a bold and challenging counter-cultural emblem.  And that feels good.
Hey, remember when Saturday Night Live was funny?  This was pretty funny (WARNING:  video shows a female bare back, and has a bleeped-out swear word.  If you are likely to be upset by that, then for the love of mike, please do not click on the link.)