The Struggles of a Scrupulous Trad

As a frequent reader of Crisis Magazine, I took interest in Braden Hock’s recent article about traditionalists and scrupulosity. I could tell the sincere place his admonition came from, and I agreed with many points he made. It’s important to discern what the Church has taught versus what individuals impose on others, without unduly troubling one’s peace through endless research. It’s also true that when we’re grappling with the words and actions of the Church hierarchy, we need the appropriate spirit of obedience and humility. As a self-professed traditionalist and scrupulous person, learning these lessons (sometimes the hard way) has greatly aided me on my path to peace and holiness. 

That said, I thought the article fell short of its intended audience—scrupulous trads like me. I say this not because the article lacked good will or strict accuracy on certain points but because it struck me as primarily descriptive, with only surface level prescriptive elements.

Unfortunately, description alone isn’t always helpful. When someone suffers from scrupulosity, it’s not usually intellectual recognition of the flaw that is lacking. As many of us know too well, scrupulosity means being self-aware to a fault. It’s a reflexive thought pattern, an inability to stop dwelling on one’s shortcomings (speaking from personal experience, at least).

Devout Catholics who suffer from scrupulosity generally understand what their ailment is. We know scrupulosity is a defect rooted in pride. We agree the Church has hierarchy and the magisterium for a reason and that no man is an island. Furthermore, if someone online thinks they’ve discovered a crypto-dogma that nobody’s noticed for the last two hundred years, it’s usually wise to assume they’re mistaken.

Unfortunately, the struggle points for trads seldom consist of clear-cut individualistic caricatures. When someone says, “It’s important not to dogmatize such-and-such opinion,” or, “This stricture is adding to the magisterium,” it’s often not that the scrupulous trad disagrees. The problem is that his disposition, rightly or wrongly, forbids him from dismissing certain claims outright. He wants to understand why an assertion is erroneous, not assume a claim is wholly mistaken simply because it’s uncommon or unfamiliar to him. He fears being held culpable for his ignorance.

This urge to search under every rock for the “whole truth,” as it were, is hard enough to curb in a healthy Church environment, let alone in a minefield of spiritual abuse and widespread malformation. 

Even non-traditionalists frequently cite spiritual hurdles that were created by errant priests and bad catechesis. When I was converting, for example, the priest leading my RCIA class said that baptism wasn’t necessary for salvation. I also know a man who got a vasectomy after his priest said it was moral. And need I rehash the catastrophic breakdown of trust in the hierarchy resulting from Covid lockdowns and the McCarrick scandal? Many of us learned to distrust our spiritual fathers because it was necessary to preserve our souls. 

The instances of friction or outright spiritual abuse only multiply when factoring in the theological, liturgical, and pastoral foibles unique to traditionalism. Mistreatment or misdirection for trads can often extend to the diocesan level and beyond. 

What, then, should we do in a modern Church full of questionable shepherds? Obviously, the solution isn’t to double down and justify our compulsive behavior. “I can’t trust anyone,” however true it appears on the human level in some cases, is never supernaturally true. Our Lord never fails us, and He never fails to help those who ask Him and His saints for aid. 

An important next step in the discussion, then, is to transform general commentary on scrupulosity into actionable advice. As a scrupulous person, whenever someone points out a problem, I crave tangible suggestions for improvement. What should we do as traditional Catholics when we struggle to feel God’s peace? How do we avoid unhealthy self-reliance in a Church climate that, tragically, requires prudent wariness of wayward priests and prelates? What should we do as traditional Catholics when we struggle to feel God’s peace? How do we avoid unhealthy self-reliance in a Church climate that, tragically, requires prudent wariness of wayward priests and prelates?Tweet This

Here are some suggestions that have helped me as a scrupulous trad, both on my own and in relation to other people:

Transform your fears into prayers. It’s easy to ruminate on your shortcomings as a scrupulous person, but when you catch yourself doing this, immediately offer those worries and negative emotions to Our Lord. Don’t withdraw into your own thoughts; take what you’re struggling with and say it directly to God. The more you take your discouraging thoughts to Him, the more you supplant a bad thought habit with a prayerful one. 

Ask Heaven for help. Heaven is full of saints who will intercede for us if we just stop and ask. More than once, during a dejected confession, I’ve been reminded by my priest to ask Our Lady for help with my daily struggles and discouragements. I also recommend cultivating a devotion to a patron saint who overcame scruples, such as St. Alphonsus Liguori or (my personal favorite) St. Francis de Sales. And I don’t mean develop a devotion in the intellectualized, read-his-book-then-get-back-to-me sense; the saints’ friendship doesn’t come with required reading. If you can think of a saint, you can ask them for help—right now, this very second.

Seek out priests who’ve had solid priestly formation. For a lot of people in a lot of places in the world, I understand this is a long-term goal at best. Lord, grant us holy priests. To those for whom it’s potentially possible, making sacrifices to interact more regularly with well-formed priests can be life-changing, especially for the tradition minded. I find traditional confessional practices especially consoling to my scrupulous heart, given their uniform pastoral practice and their concrete suggestions for spiritual improvement. (Who do you think gave me many of the prayer habits above?)

Cultivate a confidant or two. Find a willing loved one who can help you reason through problems troubling your peace. Oftentimes, the act of translating your inner fretting into spoken sentences is enough to identify whether you’re blowing things out of proportion. (Note: don’t confuse seeking counsel for unhealthy venting.) If you consider yourself a trad, you likely associate with people whom you consider well-formed and pious. It’s not the same as having a good spiritual director, of course. Given those are hard to find, however, it’s substantially better than nothing.

Form yourself in matters of obedience and authority. Traditionalists of all stripes quibble and fret upon this subject, most especially when debating other traditionalists. It’s precisely because so many trads are scrupulous that lobbing accusations of prideful disobedience is often deeply unhelpful. Remember, you know your own intentions: if you value rightful submission to spiritual authority, and you’ve sought to form yourself in accordance with the Church’s teachings (and if scrupulous trads haven’t, nobody has), then don’t let the naysayers trouble your inner peace. Vague labels and the accusing insinuations that come with them (e.g., rad-trad, schismatic, modernist, Protestant mentality, etc.) are attempting to engage your sense of shame, which only muddles your good-faith attempts at discernment. 

If you’re convicted of a need to do some targeted study upon the subject, pick a resource from a pastor or scholar you respect. My favorite introductory resource is True Obedience in the Church by Dr. Peter Kwasniewski, which also has an audio version. Trustworthy people may suggest different books to you, with varying levels of theological complexity. Whatever you pick up, with whatever complexity level, a book or full-length presentation will always be more edifying than a social media hot take from a Catholic influencer. 

Pray the Litany of Humility. I’m still working on cultivating this habit as a means of scourging the pride and shame that plagues a scrupulous soul. The painful awareness of our self-fixation can create a feedback loop of self-loathing. Break the cycle by praying for humility, by asking Jesus to help you offer up the burden of an oversensitive conscience. You’re already convicted of your scrupulosity; turn that conviction into action through the power of prayer.

There are no accolades behind my observations or advice. I’m an ordinary lay Catholic whose relevant experience consists of a years-long battle to quell my scrupulosity through prayer and the sacraments. That said, I’ve gained substantially more inner peace over the years, due in no small part to my building affinity for tradition. Perhaps there’s a meaningful correlation there: the scrupulous may be drawn to tradition precisely because it’s the balm that soothes our souls. 

Whatever the case, by expanding this conversation, it’s my hope that fellow traditionalists can find a starting point for dealing with such a common cross among us. By the grace of God, we will carry that cross and find peace.