With my 21st birthday just a few weeks away, it is expected that I plan a blowout party with copious amounts of alcohol, as my friends compile a list of 21 dares for me to complete while downtown — you know, kiss 21 guys, dance on a table, take a birthday shot, etc. Instead, I’m … Read more
The last thing I wanted to do on a Saturday morning was discuss my husband’s death with 20 women. Not that he had died; neither had theirs. But, encouraged by him, I signed up for a workshop on what to do if suddenly widowed. Leading this sobering examination was a woman whose fate had been … Read more
For Catholic convert Amy Bonaccorso, the path to marriage wasn’t an easy one. After running the gauntlet of the modern dating scene, she finally found her husband… but not before having several preconceptions about dating and marriage shattered along the way. Noticing that there was little in the way of practical guidance for modern, devout … Read more
My wife Alice and I were married on an August morning in 1964 in a Presbyterian church just south of Richmond, Virginia. As our wedding reception drew to a close in the midday summer heat and we prepared to drive off to begin our married life in Austin, Texas, Alice’s mother took me aside and … Read more
Two men wearing tennis whites walk out on the court. Opening a folding table and chairs, they sit down and start to play chess. An attendant rushes up and says, “Sorry, gentlemen, this place is for tennis. You can’t do that here.” Looking up with a scowl, one of the men snaps, “This is how … Read more
This statement from Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix on the federal court decision striking down Prop 8 is the strongest I have seen from any prelate. It will be published at the diocesan web site later today. Marriage: a “hang up” or God’s plan? Bishop Thomas Olmsted The misguided decision of Judge Vaughn Walker, striking … Read more
As hard as it is to express the truths about abortion, euthanasia, and embryonic stem cell research to Democrats, it can be even harder to talk about homosexuality. Many people wrongly equate opposition to same-sex marriage with opposition to racial equality during the civil-rights movement, applying the emotional power of race issues to homosexuality. The … Read more
Do we need a book telling us that monogamy isn’t natural, because our ancestors 8,000 years ago didn’t mate for life? Apparently so. A new book called Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha has just been released in the U.S., and while I haven’t read it, … Read more
It was a cool fall day ten years ago when Dan, my husband, pulled our banged-up Volvo station wagon to the side of a country road and waved his hand toward the nearby woods.   “This is it!” he beamed. I looked. I saw trees.  “Here?” I questioned him. “Right here?” He pointed to … Read more
The paycheck — that plucky, stubbed, cashable contribution to a family’s daily sustenance — has become a problem to every adult woman. It’s a challenge to earn it, and it’s a challenge to live without it. This reality can pervade and put pressure on even faithful marriages, where husband and wife have discussed their priorities … Read more
Things got a little heated around here last week on Zoe’s post about marriage and annulments. In response to the news that Pope Benedict was asking marriage tribunals to tighten up the annulment process, Zoe suggested that we should be taking marriage prep more seriously at the same time — with an eye toward obviating the … Read more
“Tell me,” the wife of one of my husband’s friends began a recent phone conversation, “that you do not start your husband’s car for him every morning.” “Oh, of course not,” I told her. “Only on cold mornings I do.” Astonished silence met my ears. The discussion that followed reminded me of one that took … Read more
The temptation to have sex before marriage is as old as marriage itself. More than 1,600 years ago, St. Augustine, grappling with his desires, cried out to God, “Give me chastity . . . but not yet!”What is chastity? The word is often used to mean simply abstaining from sex, as if it were equivalent … Read more
What does a word mean, if it can mean anything? Is there a difference between a word meaning anything, and one that means nothing at all? This isn’t merely a semantic problem if that word is “marriage.” When I maintain that the definition of marriage has been all but lost, I intend both senses of … Read more
My mother-in-law once asked me disapprovingly, “Why are you so direct and confrontational with your husband? You should know by now he doesn’t like it. It’s no way to get what you want.” She added with a twinkle in her eye, “You know, dear, I have everything I always wanted in life — but I … Read more
You are in a large church basement on the upper east side of Manhattan. Like all church basements, it freelances as a basketball court, a dining hall, a wailing room for various twelve-step programs. This morning, it’s marriage preparation. Seventy-five couples who plan to marry in the Catholic Church are here for a day of … Read more
I was instructing some eighth graders on the sacrament of marriage some time ago, and they wanted to know why it was wrong to live together with someone before marriage. I explained about the sacredness of the marriage act, but one girl insisted, “But what if you just live with a guy, but you’re not … Read more
“So what if two men are allowed to marry?” we hear many a pew-warming Catholic say. “What effect can that have on marriage? I won’t love my wife any the less.” True; perhaps the damage has already been done. If that sounds harsh, consider that married life in our world is a diminished thing. Husbands … Read more
Taken into Custody: The War against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family Stephen Baskerville, Cumberland House, 352 pages, $24.95 For whatever reason, social conservatives focus considerable political effort on abortion, gay rights, and obscenity, but pay scant attention to divorce. Perhaps they think that ship has sailed for good, whereas other battles still offer winnable stakes. … Read more
The California Supreme Court supremely violated the will of the people of that state when it overturned California’s eight-year-old Defense of Marriage Act. The court declared that homosexuals have a right to marry the person of their choice. The Catholic governor of California supported this ruling, as did several other prominent, publicly Catholic Californians. The … Read more