The White House cage fights, the military flyover, and the bald eagle were quite remarkable spectacles on the South Lawn the other day, especially as they laid down a working-class marker on America 250. Various fancy-pants tut-tutted, and all the better they did. Remember, Abe Lincoln went in for ear-biting-eye-gouging rasslin’. These are our roots.
There are more spectacles coming, the cornier the better. The Great American State Fair down on the Mall is going to be terrific, and we hear at least one of our more sissified states might now show up. All the better. There will be tons of beautiful and gaudy military flyovers. And the fireworks on Independence Day will be the biggest in the history of the world. One hopes there are hometown parades all across this country.
But the best celebration of America’s 250th Anniversary will have been the World Cup of that hugely popular but nonetheless boring sport, soccer. You want to love the game, you really do, but as Americans, we mostly can’t. Our American mind cannot comprehend not using our opposable thumbs. Nonetheless, we are delighted right down to the ground that they are here. Trump is a genius. He first pitched this in 2017, during his first term. He knew this would be something special for this country’s birthday, even if he was not expected to be in office at this time.
What we have seen these past weeks is a veritable love fest between Europeans and Americans and a grand reopening of the European mind about almost all things America. They have taken to social media to exclaim that they have been lied to by their betters. The Europeans are practically shouting from the rooftops that America and Americans are wonderful.
They have taken to social media to exclaim that they have been lied to by their betters. The Europeans are practically shouting from the rooftops that America and Americans are wonderful.Tweet ThisOne of my favorites is a bus full of Euro football fans arriving in a Texas town, and out the bus window you can see a dozen Texans on horseback going full gas and waving immense American flags. The Euros are loving it.
Europeans arrive at places like Buc-ee’s and simply marvel at how big it is, all the charming American knickknacks, and the food. The food. The glorious food. They practically swoon over the guys yelling “Brisket on the board!” And then they chow down and exclaim, “We have nothing like this in Europe,” with the juice practically dripping down their jowls.
They go to Walmart and practically squeal at its immensity and the choices. They drive massive American trucks and marvel. They drive through small-town America and say, “This is like a movie. This is exactly what I thought it would be.”
There is even a guy and his son who went to Golden Corral and simply could not believe you can go back and back and back for steak and all the sides. And don’t get them started on free refills. They cannot believe free refills. You can even get a to-go cup and walk out with a fresh refill. The European mind cannot comprehend, but it almost immediately embraces such remarkable American things. And I think they know such things as free refills reflect our big American hearts.
And how charmed are we Americans by them? Have you seen the Scots in Boston? If I were there, I think I would embrace everyone I came across. Have you seen the Norwegians doing that Viking rowing thing? Aside from the pillaging and raping, what culture couldn’t do with a large dollop of Viking vibe these days, including the Norwegians!
It occurs to me that we are also being reintroduced to a part of Europe we may not have known, and this could change everything. You can call it Middle Europe meeting Middle America, and we are cutting out the middlemen of media elites. We are told how superior they are and how they look down on us.
It occurs to me that we are also being reintroduced to a part of Europe we may not have known, and this could change everything. You can call it Middle Europe meeting Middle AmericaTweet ThisAnd now we find there are brothers among them, our brothers. I think it has something to do with football itself. When you see European football on TV, what you notice is the crowd, almost all male, almost all rowdy, shouting and singing. These are not our betters, and we are not theirs. They are regular folks. They are us.
The things the Euros have found to love over here and the things our American “betters” mock are the big trucks, gigantic flags, cowboy hats, huge food, uniquely American cuisine, rough and ready men and women. Did you see them marvel over our cheerleaders?
This is America 250. This is the great rediscovery of the Old World and the New. Let us hope it lasts for a good long while. And, hey, Euros, y’all come back now, y’hear?
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